Chapter 1 of the 2011 book Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Lundy Bancroft and Judith Patrissi offers good thoughts about relationships and choices – first among which perhaps is:

There's the value of taking abstract knowledge and making it real via:

• putting thoughts down on paper
• taking time to sit or walk alone and mull things over
• exploring your feelings at a pace you are comfortable with
• engaging in mindful physical movement and exercise
• meditation or prayer
• taking action

... the rules of real-life relationships:

• No one person can be everything you need
• No one can make you better than you were before
• No one can be the person you spend all your time with
• No one can love absolutely everything about you
• No partner can do things for you that you need to do for yourself

... and the criteria of a healthy relationship:

• You must be treated with respect
• You must feel safe
• You should feel loved the great majority of the time
• Your relationship should create far more possibilities than it takes away
• You should have passion and intimacy
• You should feel seen

More notes and quotes to follow ...

_{(cf Relationship Repair (2022-03-09), ...) - ^z - 2022-03-23}